it's been a while
Monday, Mar. 07, 2005 at 9:32 pm
i got the letter from the hospital asking me to come for my eating disorder assessment!!counselling was great but really tough on monday and stirred up a lot of issues and as a result i am manipulating what i eat according to how i feel and as a way of kind of numbing what is going on inside this probably sounds silly but...
I kind of feel like cos i have been doing better that i don't deserve to have the assessment and for some warped reason i feel like i need to be as sick as possible before the assessment so that they take me seriosuly...i know that is really messed up but that is how i feel
How am I doing? ....not great...well it's confusing really, cos mentally and spiritually i am doing alright. i'm alot more positive than i have been in a long time and have a lot more focus and drive than i have done for ages....but despite that my eating disorder behaviours are all over the place, and i feel like no matter how much i fight against it the ED is stronger than me and always drags me down every time i try to confront it. 0 comments so far