r e la p s e... going down
Tuesday, Nov. 08, 2005 at 8:03 am
It's been such a long time since I wrote here. After my trip to Ben's during the summer I decided that in order to progress more I needed a break from anything online that makes me think and focus on the eating disorder more.But here I am, back again. I haven't got time to backtrack on all the time I wasn't here. But I am really not doing so great at the moment. This past week has been a total struggle. I have finished the treatment programme I was on and have been referred to a place that can provide more intensive treatment. I have an assessment with them on the 27th November...I am not sure that I want to have treatment with them, one of my really good friends had real problems there, but i know I can't judge the place on her experience, i may find it really beneficial.
I'm in the horrible place right now where I am unable to find reasons to recover for myself. I have planty of reasons focused on other people but I need to be doing it for myself. At the moment I have lost that motivation and can't see the point anymore.
I am terrified that I am going to land up back in the place I was 6 months ago. I can't let that happen but if I carry on the way i have been for the past week I will be rapidly on that path down again. 0 comments so far