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Wednesday, Jul. 19, 2006 at 10:14 pm
Being honest with myself the past few weeks have been pretty dire. Yeah it hasn't been bad compared to this time a year ago but compared to the first few weeks after I was discharged from IP I have slipped a lot.I'm really scared that this is a good as it gets.
*T* mentions specific foods and numbers
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Take today for example. I had a fruit smoothie for breakfast and 4 satsumas during the morning, 1/2 a mango for lunch, 5 satsumas during the afternoon, the other half of the mango for dinner. Then I binged on a 3/4 of a litre tub of chocolate icecream. I've put on loads of weight, I hate my body and don't want to eat tomorrow.
I've gained almost 2 kilos in two weeks *screams*
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*end T*
I seriously thought I was going to self harm this evening but I ate ice cream instead...yeah it's less damaging than cutting but it was clearly a disordered thing to do.
aargh i can't be bothered to even write about my day. *goes to bed* 0 comments so far