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Sunday, Nov. 26, 2006 at 11:13 pm

I took 36u Glargine and 4u Humalog before going out for the day yesterday but that really wasn't enough considering it was the first I had taken since Wednesday. By the time I got home I was so ketotic that I was practically throwing up involuntarily. I took some insulin before I went to bed and woke up this morning feeling hypo which probably means my sugars were in the low 20's rather than higher (a real hypo is under 4 but cos my sugars have been sooooooo high i get 'fake' hypo symptoms).

I binged and purged again this afternoon (have purged everyday for the past week), my bloodsugar was 32.3 so I took some insulin as I felt so awful and didn't want to stress my mum out any further. I've got to stay away from the scales ... I've lost over 14lbs in the last few weeks from not taking my insulin. I know my weight will have shot up by tomorrow morning from having a lower bloodsugar overnight.

Gah! I'm such a selfish cow...worrying about mym weight and how i feel when the people closest to me are scared s*#/!**s that I'm not gonna wake up one morning or that I'll be alright for now but suddenly die in 10yrs time leaving behind some kids without a mum :( and it does happen, last year someone I vaguely knew died. She was 28 and 'mucked' around wit her diabetes when she was a teenager, she suddenly died and left 4 beautiful children without their mummy, it's so sad. It was awful this evening when my mum said that she was scared that was gonna be me in a few years time.

I wish I could be a better daughter/girlfriend/sister/friend and that I didn't cause so much worry and upset. 0 comments so far