So tired
Friday, Jan. 30, 2004 at 9:57 pm
What am I doin with my life. I am wasting so much time. This has taken so much from me, stripped me of so much and making me miss out on so much.I am so tired, not just physically, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Every past of me is absolutely shattered and exhausted and it's just so hard to do anything any more. It would be all to easy to just give in, to stop caring, to not do anthing. To just sit in my room and do nothing but sleep and be depressed all day.
I have no energy, no enthusiasm, no anything. Everything that I did have has gone. The number of hourse I spend on the computer is riduculous, but I just can't be bothered to do anything else. Socialising take energy that I don't have, it means pulling myself together and putting on my 'smile' it's so much easier to chat to people over msn or email when they can't see the look on my face when i say 'yeah i'm okay thanks, how are you' when really I'm sitting contemplating purging or cutting or thinking about the fact that if i 'did something stupid' no one would actually find me until it was too late.