Scaring Myself

Friday, Feb. 13, 2004 at 3:38 pm

I went home at the weekend and so many people said to me that I looked good and asked if I had lost weight.

My mum said I smelt ketotic...I bet she knows what I'm doing...I don't know how but she always does, she always seems to know how I'm feeling. It's scary sometimes as if she can read my mind.

Last night at cell group I was so so thirsty, my thirst was unquenchable. At one point my mouth was so dry that I could hardly swallowing and my breathing felt all weird. I got back to my room and drank about 1.5 litres of water in less than a minute. I then threw up involuntarily. Afterwards I felt awful...so weak and shakey and so exhausted. I took 6 units of humalog and my usual 36 of glargine and went to bed. But I was up and down all night going to the loo.

I've been eating so much more in the past couple of weeks than I've eaten for months. But the difference is that I'm not taking my insulin regularly. I feel like complete and utter crap, I can't concentrate, I'm exhausted and I just want to sleep all day...so why do i do it? Because it works, it makes me lose weight. But losing weight is absolutely futile if I muck up everything else in my life. If I don't get on with my uni work then I will fail this term, I can't believe how unmotivated I have become. Until now I've always been the kind of person who puts so much effort and dedication into her work, now I just can't be bothered and that really frightens me. 0 comments so far