Scared and miserable
Sunday, Apr. 25, 2004 at 6:25 pm
I'm sitting here crying, I let all these negetive thoughts creep into my mind then I dwell on them and end up feeling more and more alone and more miserable. How patetic is that.It was great being at church today and seeing everyone that I haven't seen since before easter. We went for a picnic in the park afterwards which was lovely. Apart from when someone said that I looked like I had lost weight and then there was a whole discussion about weight :o( Other than that it was a really nice afternoon.
I felt a bit awkward seeing Nom, as it was the first time I had seen her since I 'confessed' to her in my email. But she was lovely as always, asked how my week had been and said that she was looking forward to coming round on Friday and seeing where I live.
So why am I so miserable right now? Well I have spent all weekend throwing up. Everytime I have eaten anything I have purged. I feel so disgusting and horrible and so mad and disappointed with myself. My bloodsugars are all over the place and I hate what I'm doing to myself. I just keep thinking of all the complications that I could have later in life because of the way I am handling my diabetes at the moment. It's horrible. 0 comments so far