Slipping back?

Tuesday, Jan. 25, 2005 at 2:00 pm

I'm worried that I am going to slip back into the way I was before Christmas. I know I can't do that, I will die if I do. Last year I was told that if I didn't improve things I would most likely be dead within 12 months. That was almost 9 months ago and since then my HbA1c improved and then got worse again. It's at 16.9 at the moment.

The past few days haven't been great, I haven't been taking my insulin or testing my bloodsugars. Yesterday I nibbled on and off all day rather than eating any proper meals.

I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, if I can't take part in the ED study she told me about I am going to have to ask her to refer me to the ED outpatient services. I've been thinking that maybe IP is the best place for me but I can't do that, not right now, if I do I will have to give up uni, at least until next September and then I'll hve to start again. I'm already doing an extra year due to changing course.

I'm scared because I am going round and round in circles and I feel like I am getting no where. Yeah I am now able to talk to people about what is going on with me and yeah I admit I have a problem, those are great steps but to me it feels like those are absolutely nothing because I am still slowly killing myself by continually doing such destructive things.

I have an appointment at the diabetes eye clinic in a couple of hours. They are going to photograp my retinas to determine if there is any damage yet. 0 comments so far